The rehearsal was over, the people left and it was just Josh and I sitting on the front porch of my parents house watching the sunset go down on the last evening we would be apart. It should have been an evening of great joy and anticipation but instead we were sitting there asking each other if we should just call of the wedding.

I was sick to my stomach for weeks leading up to and after I made my decision to start dating. The thought of not dating and dating Josh seemed both equally as terrifying. One just seemed a little less lonely. I had no peace in life about anything. No peace with God. I was gradually getting more and more ill. More hormone problems… no cycles… constant hunger and fatigue… depression…weight gain.

* Knock * Knock* *Knock*

My heart sank. I knew the instant I heard the knocking that it was Josh.

I was left alone at my sisters house to babysit their little girl while her and her husband went on a run Sunday afternoon. In the meantime Josh shows up.

I started having increased health issues, hormones problems, stomach issues, constant fatigue and migraines. S.A. didn’t cause it, I had them before I went but it just continued after I got home. I threw myself into my job and just kept going on in life.

The moment I first caught a glimpse of Josh I knew one day I would marry him. Something about him seemed so calming. It was love at first sight. At the ripe old age of 12 I knew he was the one for me.